Ne-Yo : Forum

Apr 10, 2010 2:19 PM (GMT-04:00)
Rafael93 Joined: Jul 24, 2009 Posts: 10 Location: London, GB	Song I Wrote; Please Comment, Constructive Criticism Please ! I Love You \| I Miss You Every moment that passes by I Know I’m wasting my time without you You make my days worth living You’re my day, you’re my night and you’re my everything And as time goes by, I begin realize That I’m lucky to have you in my life I love you More than you’ll ever know You’re this part in my life A part that I can’t replace I Miss you Cos as the days by I regret what I did to you Never meant to cause you, Pain & Sorrow I wish that I could go back in time And take back all that I have done Cos the things that I caused The things that I begun Ruined our lives…together I love you More than you’ll ever know You’re this part in my life A part that I can’t replace I Miss you Cos as the days by I regret what I did to you Never meant to cause you, Pain & Sorrow Take me back my love I need you back in my life You’re a missing puzzle piece One I need to be complete I love you More than you’ll ever know You’re this part in my life A part that I can’t replace I Miss you Cos as the days by I regret what I did to you Never meant to cause you, Pain & Sorrow By Rafael Carvalho :)

Apr 10, 2010 2:19 PM (GMT-04:00)

Rafael93
Joined: Jul 24, 2009
Posts: 10

Location: London, GB

Song I Wrote; Please Comment, Constructive Criticism Please !

I Love You | I Miss You

Every moment that passes by
I Know I’m wasting my time without you
You make my days worth living
You’re my day, you’re my night and you’re my everything
And as time goes by, I begin realize
That I’m lucky to have you in my life

I love you
More than you’ll ever know
You’re this part in my life
A part that I can’t replace
I Miss you
Cos as the days by
I regret what I did to you
Never meant to cause you, Pain & Sorrow

I wish that I could go back in time
And take back all that I have done
Cos the things that I caused
The things that I begun
Ruined our lives…together

I love you
More than you’ll ever know
You’re this part in my life
A part that I can’t replace
I Miss you
Cos as the days by
I regret what I did to you
Never meant to cause you, Pain & Sorrow

Take me back my love
I need you back in my life
You’re a missing puzzle piece
One I need to be complete

I love you
More than you’ll ever know
You’re this part in my life
A part that I can’t replace
I Miss you
Cos as the days by
I regret what I did to you
Never meant to cause you, Pain & Sorrow

By Rafael Carvalho :)

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Apr 11, 2010 12:30 PM (GMT-04:00)
Kiara Joined: Sep 17, 2008 Posts: 303 Location: St. Louis,, US	Re: Song I Wrote; Please Comment, Constructive Criticism Please ! I actually enjoyed reading this. Very good lyrics and strong imagery. Only confusing part is you jump back and forth a little bit with present and past tense. I'm not sure if that's what you wanted to do.. or if that's what you were trying to do. :) Other wise. Great song. Producer?

Apr 11, 2010 12:30 PM (GMT-04:00)

Kiara
Joined: Sep 17, 2008
Posts: 303
Location: St. Louis,, US

Re: Song I Wrote; Please Comment, Constructive Criticism Please !

I actually enjoyed reading this.
Very good lyrics and strong imagery.

Only confusing part is you jump back and forth
a little bit with present and past tense.
I'm not sure if that's what you wanted to do.. or if
that's what you were trying to do.

:) Other wise. Great song.
Producer?

Jun 1, 2010 9:30 AM (GMT-04:00)
Claree12345 Joined: Mar 30, 2009 Posts: 110 Location: GB	Re: Song I Wrote; Please Comment, Constructive Criticism Please ! your songs amazing well done ! so cute :) xx

Jun 1, 2010 9:30 AM (GMT-04:00)

Claree12345
Joined: Mar 30, 2009
Posts: 110
Location: GB

Re: Song I Wrote; Please Comment, Constructive Criticism Please !

your songs amazing well done ! so cute :) xx

Jun 21, 2010 11:54 PM (GMT-04:00)
danandclara Joined: Nov 24, 2009 Posts: 82 Location: CA	Re: Song I Wrote; Please Comment, Constructive Criticism Please ! nice lyrics... i can relate from my past... =')) five star!!!

Jun 21, 2010 11:54 PM (GMT-04:00)

danandclara
Joined: Nov 24, 2009
Posts: 82
Location: CA

Re: Song I Wrote; Please Comment, Constructive Criticism Please !

nice lyrics... i can relate from my past... =')) five star!!!

Jul 13, 2010 1:20 AM (GMT-04:00)
MCamboC Joined: Dec 14, 2008 Posts: 394 Location: US	Re: Song I Wrote; Please Comment, Constructive Criticism Please ! Wow!! I really liked it The only small problem that I have with it is that it's a little bit lengthy. And maybe switch or change some of the lines in the verses. But the chorus is awesome!! :)

Jul 13, 2010 1:20 AM (GMT-04:00)

MCamboC
Joined: Dec 14, 2008
Posts: 394
Location: US

Re: Song I Wrote; Please Comment, Constructive Criticism Please !

Wow!! I really liked it

The only small problem that I have with it is that it's a little bit lengthy. And maybe switch or change some of the lines in the verses. But the chorus is awesome!! :)

Feb 26, 2012 2:13 PM (GMT-04:00)
Beth22 Joined: Oct 11, 2011 Posts: 147 Location: US	Re: Song I Wrote; Please Comment, Constructive Criticism Please ! its good! I agree, the chorus is great!

Feb 26, 2012 2:13 PM (GMT-04:00)